Ep 168: How to Keep from Losing Yourself in Work and Family with Dayna Abraham [Highlight]

May 6

How to Keep from Losing Yourself in Work and Family with Dayna Abraham [Highlight]

Being a business owner and a parent often feels like a juggling act. It’s easy to lose yourself in the demands of your business and family, especially when both pull you in different directions. I recently had a conversation with my friend Dayna Abraham, a parenting expert, about maintaining your identity while juggling business ownership and family life. Here are some insights we shared to help you navigate this challenge.

The Myth of Balance

We’re often told to “balance” work and family as if everything can be equal all the time. But balance, as Dayna says, is a myth. Instead, think of your life as having buckets on a pulley system:

Yourself: Your identity, likes, dislikes, and the things that relax or energize you.
Your Family: Your kids, spouse, and the life you’re building together.
Your Business or Dream: The work that fuels your purpose, whether it’s your business or another passion.

When you pull down on one bucket, the others naturally rise. For example, during a big business launch, your family bucket might need to rise while your business takes center stage. And when you’re focused on family, your business may temporarily take a backseat. The key isn’t balance—it’s intentionality.

How to Avoid Losing Yourself

Here’s how Dayna and I approach maintaining a sense of identity and prioritizing what matters most:

1. Give Yourself Grace
As parents and entrepreneurs, we often set impossibly high expectations for ourselves. Remember, you’re human. You won’t excel at everything all the time, and that’s okay.

2. Set Weekly Bucket Goals
At the start of each week, decide what matters most in each bucket:

Business: Identify the one thing you want to accomplish, like completing a key project or hitting a launch milestone.
Family: Plan small, meaningful moments, like one-on-one time with each child or a family dinner.
Yourself: Schedule time for something that rejuvenates you, whether it’s a hobby, a workout, or quiet time to reflect.

3. Communicate with Your Family
Let your family see and understand what you’re working on. Explain the purpose of your work so they can connect your effort with the rewards, like a family trip or financial milestone.

Finding Connection Through the Buckets

Dayna’s pulley system approach reminds us that prioritizing one bucket doesn’t mean the others are failing—it means they’re being supported in different ways.

For example:

When your business bucket is full, acknowledge your family’s support and show gratitude by spending quality time with them later.
When your family bucket is full, use that time to recharge so you can return to your business energized and focused.

The Bigger Picture

We left corporate jobs for time freedom, but often find ourselves feeling guilty about not “doing it all.” The truth is, no one can do it all perfectly. But by focusing on what matters most each week, you can stay connected to your family, your business, and yourself.

For more insights on finding balance and building meaningful connections, listen to the full conversation on my podcast at shanalynn.com/podcast.

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Shana Lynn